What do you think of when you hear the term ‘self-help’? Most people think of it as crystal therapy, essential oils, and all sorts of unconventional methods of self treatment.

While this can be true in some examples of self help, at its core it is mainly about improving oneself. Now, the self help industry is filled with all sorts of methods, but there are some things fundamentally flawed in this process.

Mark Manson wrote an article titled, “5 Problems With the Self-Help Industry”, critiquing the industry of self-help. Manson describes the industry as contradictory, a way for avoidance, and even to an extent the enforcement of inferiority.¹

What he means by the industry being contradictory is that self-help is all about telling yourself that you are okay and can do this even if it is a path alone. However, the irony lies in once you do accept this the advice you consume or are given actually becomes useful.

Self improvement is about betterment not replacement which is what often people get hung up on and then fall into the trap of unhelpful and sometimes harmful sources. Where instead of actually progressing on your journey of self improvement you are really just living through someone else's accomplishments.

This also falls into how it also encourages avoidance. While not all problems can be fixed, self-help perpetuates that and instead of giving a solution it simply gives you a list of things you can do instead.

Often giving the illusion of progress when instead you have just opted for the slightly nicer option instead of an actual solution. There are definitely things that can not be fixed by simply relying on yourself and letting people help or accepting that you need help is the better way to resolve those problems.

Just as self-help attempts to strive for self improvement it unfortunately at its core enforces the feelings of inferiority. When you turn to this industry for help you are often wanting to become a better version of yourself.

Manson in his article points out that for self-help to actually be useful is for the person to accept themselves as someone who is already good or a better person than who they were before who has made mistakes. However, due to people having the worldview that they are broken or fundamentally bad in some way, self-help does not work because instead of encouraging self improvement it enforces shame and the inferiority of being lesser than others.

Mark Manson near the end of his article adds ,”Nobody else can be happy for you”, and how it is really up to the individual of how they can become better.1 Trust in yourself and decide what is best for you instead of letting what self-help dictates as helpful.

Manson really broke down what exactly was wrong with the self-help industry but does that make self improvement bad? Not at all, it just means that there are certain parts of self-help that are glorified for things that they are not.

So how exactly can we avoid this side of self-help while still caring for ourselves and striving to be better? According to a Verywell Mind article written by Kendra Cherry titled, “Can You Be Addicted to Self-Help” you should focus on accepting yourself, realize your strengths, and to reach out to a professional when you need to.²

Just as Manson said prior by accepting who you are now and recognizing your flaws as something you can improve upon instead of feeling inferior because of it. It also helps in keeping your thoughts realistic when you are attempting to better yourself.

Instead of striving for perfection your goal is instead the aspect of improving yourself. It is also important as Cherry wrote in her article to recall what is going well for you and your strengths.

Oftentimes when we get stuck and see no sign of progress we tend to think negatively, becoming anxious that we will never change. Knowing the things that are going well can help you realize how far you have come, giving you the motivation to pull through.

Sometimes life can get too much, making us feel lost at times. In moments like these it is important to know you are not alone and that you can reach out to professionals for help even if you are not lost.

While parts of the self help industry are fundamentally flawed in its approach to self improvement it is not reflective of all the resources associated with self-help. However, what we should take from this is that a big part of growth is to accept who you are now so you can develop and become the person you wish to be.

Cited Sources:
1- https://markmanson.net/self-help

2- https://www.verywellmind.com/can-you-be-addicted-to-self-help-5118241